


Pining

by Dramaqueen4life



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Auror Draco Malfoy, Auror Harry Potter, Friendship/Love, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 08:21:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11619654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dramaqueen4life/pseuds/Dramaqueen4life
Summary: Pining/ˈpaɪnɪŋ/A feeling of deep yearning and longing





	Pining

                                                                                                                Pining /ˈpaɪnɪŋ/

                                                                                            A feeling of deep yearning and longing

The sun filters in through the windows and I take a breath to stare at the expanse of skin in front of my eyes. I can see the moles dotted on his lower back and the scar on his left shoulder when we both wrestled and ended up falling on ice after a heated argument. My hands beg to touch the person who lies sleeping in front of my eyes and to ascertain its corporeality. Can it be possible? Is this not a dream? Pinching is an act of a daft and it wouldn’t help anyway. On the days when I have woken up screaming, it is his smile that has made it possible to go out for work in the morning. Oh, how the world would laugh if they knew we were neighbors in central London and have been friends for a decade. Even Rita Skeeter couldn’t suss out where we both live, not with my expertise in charms.

Let this dream stretch and stretch till the sun stops shining and the oceans run dry. Let it go on till I actually grow a brain and stop pining after him ( _might as well resign myself to this fate; that seems rather unlikely_ ). Let me at least acknowledge that I do indeed pine after him. As I have since the day we both fought the creature in Diagon alley and I got hurt in the process. The way he would not let me be carried over in someone else’s arms but his. He was glorious that day as he screamed his lungs out and threatened to obliterate St Mungo’s if anyone refused to treat me. I further realized the depth of my deprivation when I continued to pine after him long after he had seized to be conscious of my presence in the room and would not hesitate in indulging in physical affection. It was so easy to mistake that camaraderie for love only to be douched in reality once again when another curse grazed me or when spoken words had intent. Knowing who I was, knowing who I still am, I still wish it was more even though I’m aware that the world is not a wish granting factory ( _must be Luna who lent me that_ ). I yearn. Probably will for a long while ( _re: endlessly, eternally, forever_ ).

My roving hands start touching his involuntarily. His eyelashes are curled up and so girly that I have made fun of it on countless occasions ( _only to admit in defeat that they are beautiful in my head_ ). I trace that scar and that nose and brush my thumb over his lips. Up and down, like the ocean waves crashing against the beach, my hands restart their journey as I try to map what I have done ceaselessly in my head since I fell in love. My favorite days had been spent in bed dreaming endlessly about menial soppy things that would shame me if acknowledged in public. Many hearts have been broken over these pair of green eyes and many sighs have accumulated over this brat’s love for heroic endeavors. One too many times I have had to wring that neck away from the path of a curse and then hex him for his stupid, stupid smile after. Who am I? Just another in love with the savior.

He is smiling in his sleep. That rarely happens here. We are usually fighting which ends in a hex and lot of laughter afterwards. This dream that keeps me sane. A stray, disheveled curled lock falls across his closed eyes. One would expect he would drool in his sleep like the idiotic messed up boy he was in his teens. However, considering this dream is mine, he isn’t drooling ( _a shame; more fodder to laugh at in the morning_ ). I turn to leave so I could observe him from a distance but legs entwine mine, stopping me. Don’t steal this from me. Never this. You already have too much of me; let me have this in its entirety. His hands are curled towards my side of the bed. Is he subconsciously looking for me? Have I somehow imagined that he wants me just like I do? Maybe I was hit from that love potion in the last case and have been suffering its aftereffects now? I should stop this while I can. But God, just look at him. It is like poetry in the making. Those lips that beg to be kissed and kissed often; that long neck that is eagerly waiting for bruises to bloom and to show that it has been claimed like it should. It is everything I have ever imagined but somehow more. His lips are soft like the first dew as I give in to temptation and take them for mine.

Forbidden.

This.

Withdraw.

Don’t take it further.

But.

The heart wants what it wants. I curl my hands in his hair and draw him close. His hair feels like silk, as if it was meant to be pulled and then soothed over hushed tones and soft kisses. A hand on my waist beckons me closer, as if distance is a foregone conclusion. His hands are soft on my back. Just like his fragile heart that has seen too much and needs not a broken person to make it worse. Too greedy. All those smiles, all those hugs. Makes me want more. Am I not allowed to want more?

He is waking up. I will get to see those eyes. They look blue, sometimes green. And on my favorite days they are a stormy grey. Like today. He smiles. My heart has finally given up the struggle to breathe like it has for the last 3 decades.

Breath is overrated. Let me die with this. Just this.

**Author's Note:**

> My first fanfic ever and I'm so glad I wrote this for myself. Thought I'd share on a whim.  
> Not beta-picked or brit-picked. Fairly off the top of my head. Please share your thoughts with me if you liked it.


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